Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
