winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize