I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
