so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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