Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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