So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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