they need to just BURY HIM!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
