Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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