I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
