I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
