I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
