can u get pink eye on your cock?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
