you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
