I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
