Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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