whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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