I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my liver is dry heaving
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
