ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
