how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
