The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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