did you get engaged???
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
