sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
