Tell her she can't have a vagina
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
