Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
