you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
