Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
