she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
