she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
