Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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