Dual....:-)
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you would pick up someone in the library
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
