my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
