theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
