Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
