great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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