I showed him my bush... on skype.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
