In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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