I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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