He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
