is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
