so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
