We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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