I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
