just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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