She is in my trunk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
