so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
