i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
