the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she pinky promised me she was 18
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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