just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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