I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just want to make out with him forever
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
