I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize