i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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