This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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