What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
