i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
