this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
