He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
