I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
false alarm. still invincible.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
