I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
