omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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