Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
