Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
