Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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