don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
