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mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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