the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
